


Tango

by nishiki



Series: Dancing in the dark [1]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Sex, Bottom Oswald Cobblepot, Break Up, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Developing Relationship, Episode Related, Love Confessions, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mutual Pining, Oswald can dance, Oswald can sing, Permanent Injury, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Pre-Canon, Pre-Season/Series 01, Sad Ending, Shameless Smut, Torture, Tragic Love Story, later set during season 1 Episode 1, pre GCPD Jim, stormy love affair, top Jim Gordon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-25 03:11:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14369643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nishiki/pseuds/nishiki
Summary: Jim meets Oswald at Fish Mooney's nightclub for the first time, enraptured by his voice as the young man performs for Fish. When he finally gets the chance to speak to the singer, a stormy love affair between the two begins that ends as Jim Gordon becomes part of the GCPD and finds Oswald beating a thief with a baseball bat.





	1. Beginning

Jim Gordon knew that it had been a mistake right from the first moment he had ever laid eyes on one Oswald Cobblepot. He blamed the lights of the club, he blamed the atmosphere, he blamed the smells in the air, he blamed the hustle and bustle of the city he just came back to after his departure from the military. But first and foremost, he blamed Oswald. Oswald and his voice.

Going back to the beginning, life was looking up for Jim Gordon as he returned to Gotham after years spent in the military and outside of the country. As he came back to the city it was because of his father’s death all those years ago and the legacy his father had left behind in Gotham, not that the rest of his family would care that much about his return to Gotham anyway. He had never been quite the family man, to begin with, and chosen the life of thrill and danger as a soldier over following in his father’s footsteps as a young man. His mother had never forgiven him for this decision, as he had never forgiven her for leaving Gotham when he had been a child, after his father’s untimely death. Needless to say, Jim could live with that.

Gotham was a cold, grey and unforgiving city to live in and that he learned pretty early on after his return. He knew what his role in life would be as soon as he would be ready. His police career was laid out in front of him already thanks to his military career and the reputation that was preceding him. Now, all he needed to do was to grasp it and start as soon as he would be ready but until then, he had decided, he would enjoy the life as a bachelor in this exciting and dangerous city. That was, at least, what he had thought as he first set foot into town, still a young man, not older than thirty with his head still full of ideals and complicated morals, his world divided pretty clearly into black and white. At first, the city had enraptured him with her lights and her extravagance. In Gotham, nothing seemed impossible, nothing forbidden, nothing too weird as to not celebrate it. People dressed like they wanted to dress without a care in the world and never in his life had Jim seen more eccentric but genuine people walking the streets in their everyday lives. He had instantly envied them all for just being who they were without restrictions, without a care in the world for what anyone else might think about them.

He knew, right in that moment, that he had made the right decision of coming to Gotham and not follow his mother's wish to move back to the town he had grown up in after his father’s death instead, returning to her and his old friends. This city was the place he was meant to be at and Jim threw himself into her abyss all at once these early days of his life in Gotham. He had always enjoyed his role as a soldier, the rules, the clear orders, the structure, the restrictions, but when he came to Gotham, he dove right into the nightlife of this never sleeping town with gusto, experiencing for the first time, what he had never dared to experience as a young man before coming to Gotham.

This was the exact reason why he ended up visiting Fish Mooney’s nightclub one evening in late December. It was a slow Tuesday night at the club and as Jim entered he was disappointed at first as he was not immediately embraced by loud music and a mass of dancing beautiful people, one prettier than the next. It was quiet except for a bit of background music and hardly anyone sitting at the tables that were scattered around the establishment. Immediately, Jim wanted to turn around and leave again, but in the end, he decided against it and rather walked towards the bar to order himself a drink in the light of the lavish chandeliers. Maybe it was the voice he heard singing that had drawn him in and convinced him to stay. The club was fancy and very elegantly decorated all around with fancy chandeliers and dark red brocade wallpaper. The colors were heavy, lots of reds and rich browns. He liked it a lot and could see himself spending his evening sitting at this bar to chat with the bartender, a friendly looking guy in a dark red velvet vest over a black dress shirt and matching red bow tie with a scar underneath his left eye who seemed overly concerned with polishing the glasses before putting them back onto the shelf behind him, as if anything less than pristinely perfect was not good enough.

After Jim had sat down on the barstool and ordered a pure glass of whiskey, his eyes were drawn to the stage and at first he was certain that the man on stage could not actually be the singer whom’s voice he had heard after entering the club and which had lured him in like the song of a siren luring him to his doom like Odysseus himself. He was small, even from afar, though Jim Gordon was hardly especially tall either, very thin and slender at first glance and dressed in a three-piece suit that made him stand out even in this environment quite harshly. His clothes looked as if the young man came from an entirely different time period altogether and the way he had styled his black hair was just … odd, in lack of a better term, with strands of his long bangs pulled into his forehead like feathers. He just smirked to himself at the sight and took a sip from his glass, shortly noticing the woman sitting close to the stage at one of the tables with a much bigger man right behind her. Since he could only see their backs, Jim was not too concerned about them for now, but rather felt his eyes being drawn back to the singer on stage as he realized that this rich sound, in fact, was coming out of his throat.

He felt enraptured by his voice and his raw talent, staring at the young man without being able to tear his eyes from his person throughout his performance and it was the sound of clapping coming from the woman at the front, that first pulled him back into reality so sharply as if he had been slapped. Only then did he realize that the song had already ended.

»Oswald!« She crooned as she gracefully rose to her feet, stretching the name that was leaving her lips almost lovingly like a mother would do perhaps, like a spell or enchantment that would bind the young man to her, as she was already extending her arms to the man on stage, an invitation for a hug and a kiss. The young man was all too eager to scramble down the stage and let himself be embraced by the woman. Jim watched on like a creep in the shadows of the bar, as the woman pulled away again only to kiss both of the young man’s cheeks and cup his face in her slender hands. Even from afar her long manicured fingernails looked like weapons, ready to strike and inflict damage on that milk-white skin. »That was absolutely fabulous.«

The young man seemed absolutely flustered by her praise and the way his cheeks turned pink was entirely too endearing to Jim as he watched the scene unfold. Now that he was a bit closer, Jim could see more of him. The pale skin, the eyes that reflected strikingly blue in the lights from the ceiling, a hint of freckles on his cheeks and his nose. He was not unattractive at all, but not pretty by the conventional standards either. Still, there was something about this young man that made him unable to take his eyes off of him just yet. He felt like a paperclip being drawn to a magnet.

»Miss Mooney, I am honored.« The young man replied finally, his voice filled with glee by her words and as smooth as honey. »I am so glad you liked it. And I am very grateful for this chance.«

»Oh, Sweetheart.« She smiled and finally took her hands from his face to drop them on his chest lovingly. »Your singing was really lovely.« He could sense the _but_ coming and this man, Oswald, apparently did too because his smile was suddenly much more strained than before. »But I really am not looking for a singer at the moment, Honey.«

»Oh, Miss Mooney, I can assure you, I-«

»But I could make use of you for something else, if you accept my humble offer.« Whatever she offered him to do, Jim couldn't hear it as it was muffled by the sounds of two people arguing in the back of the club. No one seemed to pay them any attention. Oswald seemed to have agreed to whatever was offered to him, though, as he deducted by the way the young man smiled and nodded. It was still a strained and disappointed smile, but at least he seemed to have gotten a job. Bravo, Oswald, bravo, he thought to himself with a smile.

He didn't know a thing about this young man, only his name and that his voice was absolutely breathtaking, but already he felt much too invested in his life and this chance he had gotten from the woman, Miss Mooney. _Fish_ Mooney, probably.

Jim found himself staying at the club for the rest of the night and yet it became only slightly more crowded with each passing hour and the rising levels of alcohol in his system. Of course, Jim being quite the adventurer would want to claim that he had danced and flirted with the women that started roaming these rooms, but this was not at all true. Instead, he found himself watching Oswald for the biggest chunk of the night. Not only was he a wonderful singer, he was also a skilled dancer, as it later turned out as Jim found him dancing tango with his new boss. She as well seemed enraptured by Oswald while Oswald himself didn't even seem to realize what impact he had on other people. did he know how captivating his smile was? Was he aware how gorgeous his little dimples were when he smiled?

He hadn't said a single word to Oswald the entire night and he wouldn't even quite know how to approach him. Yet, as he later found himself in front of the club, waiting under the bright neon light of a street lamp, he knew what he wanted to do and he didn't care how odd he might look. When the door to the club opened again and Oswald stepped outside with a new spring in his step that probably came from the alcohol he had consumed and the new job he had just gotten, Jim moved in for the kill like a predator that had just been waiting for its prey.

The moment their eyes met, after Jim had untangled his tongue enough to flash a simple »Hey!« at Oswald, he knew that the other man had noticed him. It was this small little devious grin that was pulling at his lips that told Jim about it. And even more did it tell him that Oswald had not only noticed him before but actively put on a show for him throughout the night. What a little devil. This little weirdo with the odd hair and the beautiful voice already had him in his thralls and he knew it too. He didn't need to talk to Jim at all to know it and that made this all just that more exciting as Jim bridged the distance that remained between them. »I’m Jim.« He introduced himself to the man who was just slightly shorter than him and staring at him out of clear blue eyes that seemed almost as frosty as the freshly fallen snow all around them.

There was just the tiniest smirk pulling on Oswald's soft pink lips and now that they were mere inches apart, not even wide enough for another person to squeeze in between them, he could see all the tiny freckles that were scattered all over Oswald’s cheeks right underneath his eyes and the bridge of his nose. »Is this a habit of yours, James?« Oswald's question took him so much by surprise, that Jim almost took a step back, suddenly feeling as if he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He had seen the other man drink quite a lot all through the night and yet his wits seemed razor sharp. »To prey on strangers like this?« He continued but though the sharpness of his eyes remained intact, his voice had grown a bit lower, almost into a purr, or at least that was what his brain told him. »To watch strangers all night and then lurk in the shadows until you get a chance to talk to them in private?«

»Not until now, no.« Jim replied with a sly little grin. It didn't fail to hit it's intended target as was evident by the twinkle in Oswald's eyes. »My apartment is right around the corner.«

Somehow he had expected Oswald's touch to be of ice, but his kisses were like fire burning on his skin as he was moving down on Jim as skillfully as if he had done it a thousand times already. There was always something odd and awkward about fucking someone for the very first time, especially in a situation as theirs when they did not know a thing about the other one, yet nothing of it felt weird. Maybe it was due to the alcohol he had consumed at Fish Mooney’s place.

Oswald’s lips were soft as they reached his cock, much softer even than he would have expected, and suddenly the air inside his small cramped-up bedroom was too hot to breathe in, as all he was able to feel were Oswald's fingers on his skin, Oswald's tongue on the sensitive flesh as he licked his way up Jim’s length from base to tip with skilled ease, one hand firmly on Jim’s left hip as he kneeled in front of the bed right between Jim's open legs. They had lost their clothing the moment they came through the door of Jim's apartment and as soon as morning would come, they would need to collect the scattered items that were strewn all over the place. Getting Oswald out of his fancy suit had been a bitch but what had been uncovered underneath all that fabric had been absolutely worth the effort.

He was slender and thin, but not sickly thin, just right for a young man like him. His hips narrow, his legs long and smooth. He had the figure of a dancer and though he was quite thin, he was not without muscles at all. His muscles were very distinctly defined, not used for raw strength as it was the case with Jim, but for complicated movement and strain. As Oswald sucked almost experimentally on the tip of his swollen cock, Jim couldn't stifle the moan tearing from his throat as he grabbed the messy black hair tightly, gaining a hum of approval from the smaller man just as Oswald took as much of his length as possible into this sinful mouth of his. Jim watched every second of it with parted lips as Oswald's mouth stretched over him like that, the most gorgeous thing he'd ever seen.

Jim was certain that he had never felt like that before. Yes, he had had one-night-stands before, especially ever since he came to Gotham. He had spent most of his defining years as a soldier in combat, so of course, he had sought out cardinal pleasures throughout that time and yet, this right here was different than everything he had ever experienced. There was just something about Oswald, that weird scrawny dude in the three-piece suit that he could not quite name yet. Something dark and animalistic that drew him in just like the danger of going to war. Maybe that was it. Despite his beautiful voice and that gorgeous body, despite the shy smiles he had flashed at Fish Mooney, there was something very dangerous lurking beneath the surface, waiting to be released and strike out and that was inherently too arousing for Jim not to react to it.

Oswald's machinations were too sinful to ignore. His mouth hot against him, the sight of his cock sliding in and out slick with saliva too enthralling to look away as Oswald drew desperate moans out of him without a care in the world for decency or shame. Jim's grip at his hair became only tighter the closer he came to his orgasm and as if Oswald knew how close he truly was, the little devil just pulled away shortly before Jim would have erupted into his mouth. Before he could even complain, Oswald was on top of him again, his slim legs wrapped around his middle enticingly tight and desperate for the skin on skin contact as their cocks met snuggly between their bodies. His lips were upon Jim’s that very same second too, the kiss hungry and deeper than ever before.

Never had he felt so lost in another person’s embrace, never had he been able to sink so deeply into someone else. Opening Oswald up was as easy as it could be. He took Jim’s finger with ease, after the first had breached him slowly, allowing the other man to remain on his lap, so arousingly close to his aching, throbbing cock. He wanted him and he wanted him as quickly as possible.

Oswald, to his joy, seemed to be of the same mindset as he was moving against the fingers that were slowly but certainly working him open, thrusting into Jim's ministrations with newfound energy and hunger. He was perfect with his milk white skin and the freckles dusting the tops of his shoulders and barely grazing the curve of his collarbones. He was perfect with the pleasured moans leaving his throat as Jim quickly found a condom on his bedside table only to have Oswald snatch it away and rip open the package impatiently with his greedy teeth. The sensation as the smaller man rolled the condom down his lengths was almost painful as all Jim wanted to do was to plunge into him and dive into pleasure.

Oswald remained on top as this was where he seemed the most comfortable just like he had been on Fish Mooney's stage hours before, as Jim took his fingers away. He could only watch as Oswald grabbed his cock tightly and guided it inside of his body with ease, his entire being embracing Jim in a way that he was certain to never have felt before in his life, almost as if Oswald's body had been crafted exactly for that purpose, exactly for taking him inside. He blamed the alcohol for sappy thoughts like these and yet he knew that he would want no one else in his bed from this moment onwards. They were mere strangers. He didn't know a thing about Oswald except for that he could sing and dance and was the most beautiful man he had ever seen despite of all his little imperfections, or maybe _because_ of them even. It was satisfying to ruin his hairdo as he drove his fingers through the raven strands before Oswald pushed him down on the mattress, remaining on top and driving his greedy hands over Jim's chest.

It was only then that Jim grabbed him hard by the hips to turn the situation around and was rewarded with a desperate little moan as Oswald's back hit the mattress before he could start pounding into him with a newfound hunger for the other man. He was devouring him whole as his lips found Oswald’s once more and was met with just as much enthusiasm. He could hear the deep moan leaving Oswald’s throat as it almost got swallowed by their kiss just as Jim breached the barrier of his lips with his tongue. He didn't waste time to find his tongue and start the fight for dominance all over again, as he was thrusting into him. Oswald's legs fell open for him all too willingly, his body taut as a bowstring as he met Jim’s thrusts with his own, bringing Jim even deeper into pleasure with Oswald's slender body writhing under him on the mattress, raw and open for Jim to enjoy.

Their tryst was rushed and wild but Jim couldn't care less for now. It wouldn't be the last time he had seen Oswald. It wouldn't be the last time he would take him to his bed and devour him like this. It wouldn't be the last time he got lost in his pleasure as he did the moment Oswald came between their bodies, his cock massaged to completion by the friction of their bodies moving against each other in mutual pleasure, dragging Jim over the edge of the cliff with him right that same instant as he began to contract around him almost violently.

He was completely out of breath the moment he pulled out and got rid of the used condom lazily before he fell onto the mattress beside Oswald, pulling the smaller man on top once again only to steal another much lazier kiss from that sinful mouth of his.

»That was a rather unexpected turn of events.« Oswald hummed against his throat just a few moments later, after he had shifted to lie beside Jim, his head resting on Jim’s shoulder as they were still trying to get their breathing back under control with Jim drawing lazy circles on Oswald’s back and Oswald mouthing little kisses alongside his jaw and his throat. »Not that I would complain.« He added with that sly grin of his. »Though I am intrigued as to what made you wait for me outside the club.«

Jim chuckled at this and gently shrugged his shoulders. »I heard you sing tonight.« That was the answer he got for Oswald and it was most certainly not the best or most informing one at that, but it was an answer and it was all Oswald would get from him for the rest of the night.

 

**-End of Chapter 1-**


	2. Rise

Jim Gordon knew that it had been a mistake right from the first moment he had ever laid eyes on one Oswald Cobblepot. He blamed Oswald and the way his skin tasted, he blamed his voice and those sounds he could make, he blamed the half-light of his apartment as the fluorescent lights of the neon signs outside had cast shadows on Oswald’s naked body writhing beneath him in a moment of entire bliss. He blamed the way their bodies had moved in complete unity. He blamed the feeling of being complete for once after all this time feeling lost at sea. But first and foremost, he blamed Oswald Cobblepot and this damned voice of his and how it sneaked it's way into Jim’s head, resisting to ever leave him again.

He knew that it was a mistake as he reached Fish Mooney’s nightclub once again. He knew that he shouldn't have come here the second night in a row. What Oswald and he had shared last night had been nice, but it had been quite clear that this was all that it was. One night. That was it. Still, when he thought back to the last night, he could still feel Oswald’s burning hot kisses on his skin and he was unable to stay away from the club. Oswald had left his apartment long before Jim had woken up in the late hours of the morning as the sun had already risen above Gotham and the whole entire city outside of his silent apartment was already buzzing with activity and though everything inside of him knew that it was better this way and that he should just store the memory of last night somewhere in the back of his mind as something he could jerk off to in lonely nights, his feet had dragged him back here again as he found himself unable to resist the magnetic pull any longer.

He reached the nightclub with the neon fish above the door shortly before it would close its doors at midnight and that was exactly what he had intended to do. He was not the biggest fan of this particular establishment and he didn't wish to be seen walking into it again and again and again, but Oswald … That was a whole different can of worms. There was this certain underlying danger lurking beneath Oswald’s cobalt blue eyes whenever he had looked at Jim last night and though he was an ex-soldier and future man of the law, it was this exact kind of danger that was pulling him in again tonight. He couldn't deny it. He couldn't fight it. It was like a disease that held him firmly in its grip, unyielding, unwavering. He loved the thrill of it all while he chose to be blissfully ignorant of what this all might mean to him one day. To the outside world, his family and his friends, he had always been the good Jim, Saint Jim, the good son, the good friend, the good soldier. A man who always upheld the law, who always upheld his morals and pushed them on others. A man who could do no wrong. And yet he was drawn in by danger like a moth to the flame.

Jim was certainly not naive. He was an idealist, true. He wanted to be a good cop in this city and wanted to bring law and order to these streets like his father had. However, Jim was aware of the fact that these streets were ruled by the mafia and this district, the theater district with Fish Mooney’s club in it, was not an exception to this rule either. And yet, he wasn't a cop in this city yet and just wanted to live in blissful ignorance to what was going on behind the curtains of this establishment, at least for as long as he wouldn’t know it for certain and yesterday, as he had visited the club, there had been no evidence of this being a mob-owned establishment, nothing that screamed it at him in bright red letters. And for Oswald … He was just a young man who was working for this club. He was just a young man who had been dancing with Fish Mooney last night and whose voice still sent shivers down Jim’s spine when he remembered the sounds that left this pale white throat.

And even if he would be a criminal … Jim doubted that he would find it in himself to stay away. This city was already beginning to corrupt him as it seemed. He could feel the corruption seeping in. He could see it slither over the snow-covered ground like a malformed little creature with two many crippled little legs covered in black goo, leaving a trail behind it. Soon it would have reached him and then there would be no going back anymore for him.

As if on cue, he heard the door to the alley to the side of the establishment open as midnight rolled around to reveal Oswald stepping into the night and the faint light of a flickering light over the metal door he was walking through. Just a few minutes ago the snow had picked up again in its tireless effort to drown Gotham under a blanket of white. He watched how Oswald opened his black umbrella against the snow to shield his clothes and his hair from getting wet this late at night. Before his mind had the opportunity to make him hesitate any further and delay the inevitable, Jim crossed the street, watching out for cars as to not be run over in the middle of the night by some reckless driver. He was quick to reach the alley between Mooney’s and the shop next door.

»Oswald!« He called out to the young man who just turned to leave the alley into the opposite direction and only turned as his name was called. There was a moment of uncertainty in which Oswald looked at him almost a little confused and for this instant, Jim felt his heart drop into his pants. Had he already forgotten about him? He didn't want to believe that he had forgotten about him in a day’s time. They had lain together not even quite twenty-four hours ago. However, what did he really know about this man, in the end? It was possible that this, what happened between them last night, was normal for Oswald, maybe it was just his own hurt ego and pride that forbade him to consider the possibility that Oswald had already forgotten about him.

»James, right?« Oswald finally answered as he turned his body around to face him completely. There was a certain smugness in his voice and his face, but in no way was it uncomfortable to look at. Instead, he felt himself smirking as he casually stepped closer. At least he tried to look casual as he did. He couldn't deny that he already felt his heart pounding as his eyes darted over Oswald’s appearance. His skin was snow-white in the sickly white light that came from the small lamp over the exit, but his cheeks were flushed in a way that told Jim that he had done strenuous work just before he left, or that he was drunk. Maybe he had been dancing with Fish again, she seemed to have liked that quite a lot last night. »What brings you here? I didn't see you inside. I would have come over to say hello, otherwise.« Oswald seemed so calm facing him, so casual as if nothing about this situation was special in any way, as if he was the one who was in control at all times.

Only as Jim had bridged the distance between them and caused Oswald to drop his umbrella the moment he pushed him against the wall of Fish Mooney’s establishment, was it Jim who took over control again. Oswald didn't fight back as Jim pressed his lips to his, he didn't protest as he all but pinned him against the cold wall. He didn't even protest the moment Jim’s cold hands were already pushing open his woolen coat to skim over his body.

»I had to see you.« Jim breathed as he parted from these sinful lips for no longer than the time he needed to catch his breath and only allowed Oswald to do the same, as he started kissing alongside his jaw.

»I am flattered.« Oswald breathed and tried to suppress a moan already as Jim’s fingers had driven down to his pants, carelessly ripping his dress shirt out of the front of his pants to shove his fingers underneath the waistband. Oswald flinched violently as the touch of Jim’s cold fingers on his warm skin. »But you should know that I am not particularly the kind of guy for something like that.«

»Like what?« Jim huffed against the skin on Oswald’s jaw as he peppered it with open-mouthed kisses.

»Like a relationship.«

»You talk too much.« Jim groaned. He didn't want to think about what he just said. Relationship was such a big word, especially at this moment. He just met him the second time. Maybe they should call it lust, yearning perhaps. Whatever it was, it didn't matter, at least to him it didn't, at least not at this moment, not when he had Oswald at his mercy once more, not when he felt him buck against his hand as he shoved it deeper into his pants.

Oswald was grinning wider, all teeth and shamelessness, arching his hips, his half-hard length against Jim’s hand in his pants, debauched, almost. He had never done something like this, never even thought about something like this, yet he couldn't stop himself and Oswald didn't voice any objections either, not even as Jim turned him around and pulled down his dress pants just enough to be able to cup those perfect globes in both his hands.

It was rushed, maybe too rushed, maybe too brutal, but Oswald’s moans as he stroked him beneath the fabric of his undergarments were like music to his ears. Everything about this tryst was wrong and dirty here between the dumpsters of the nightclub in the freshly falling snow around them. So wrong in fact, that Jim was almost shocked about his own behavior and yet, his blood was rushing through his veins like poison, his heart pounding so loudly he could almost not hear his own thoughts any longer and even if he would be able to hear them, he knew they would only circle around Oswald now.

He kissed Oswald's temple as he covered the smaller man’s back with his own, rolling his hips against him to make unmistakably clear what was on his mind as if Oswald wouldn't have already gathered as much. There was no resistance, only a wide grin tugging on Oswald's lips. »Stop playing around.« The order was clear as it escaped Oswald in yet another little moan when Jim twisted his hand at the base of his cock just right, as it seemed.

Jim raises his brows in excitement, as his hands slipped straight to Oswald's hips now instead, leaving his aching member unattended for now, grabbing hard before he turned him around in one swift move to push Oswald against the brick wall. He couldn't resist pushing his body against Oswald's backside and brought his fingers up to his lips, while his other hand already unbuckled Oswald's belts and unzipped his fly, pushing the fabric down and the lapels of his woolen coat out of the way impatiently. There was no need to tell him what to do as Oswald opened his mouth all too willingly, sucking his fingers in and closing his eyes as his tongue swirled around them. He flicked the tips of Jim's fingers teasingly out here in the open for everyone to see, before Jim pulled back again. A part of him was worried that they were taking this too far right here and now, that it was going too fast, maybe, yet his body quivered as he reached down, fisting his cock through the fabric of his jeans and letting out a dark moan.

Jim took his fingers and slid them between the crease of Oswald's ass as he pressed his lips to the back of his neck just above the collar of his shirt and the base of his hairline, biting down so hard it would surely leave a mark that Oswald would need to explain to his boss tomorrow, sending jolts of satisfaction through Jim's entire body as he felt Oswald’s soft black hair tickle his nose. He tried to kiss away the tension in Oswald's back as he circled the pad of the middle finger around the warm, puckered entrance before sliding it in - no rush or real force behind it. He kept it careful and smooth so that it wouldn't hurt besides the rush of the act and his own ever-growing impatience. The thrill of the possibility of getting caught made this just all the more enticing.

After a few moments, the tight ring of muscle seemed to loosen a bit so that Jim could slide a second finger in, pumping them in and out slowly as he worked Oswald open despite his inner need to rush onwards, to just take him right here and now and not waste both their precious time with this. Yet Oswald's moans were keeping him steady and sent blood rushing straight to his painfully aching cock. Oswald sounded as if he was choking on air as he as was grabbing for the support on the wall which he just couldn't find as his body rocked back onto Jim's fingers to bring them in deeper than before.

»Oh God, just fuck me already!« His voice was husky with want and Jim decided that no one could ever blame him for wanting that man just as much as the other way around at this very moment.

Jim was quick to pull a condom with his fingertips out of the back pocket of his jeans. At least he always had one with him - just in case and that case was now as it appeared. He unbuckled his belt and it didn't escape him how Oswald trembled at the sound in anticipation before he unzipped his fly and pulled out his cock only to quickly rip open the condom packet with his teeth and roll the thing down his shaft with no further hesitation.

Jim gingerly inched closer to Oswald again, barely teasing him with the head of his cock before lining himself up with Oswald's heat. With one hand flat against the small of Oswald's back, Jim started pushing in, the grip of muscle causing him to groan as he continued to press himself in to the hilt causing Oswald to let out a tight, heated breath as he groaned out his name - _James_ , not Jim, just like last night - yet did his best to keep his body relaxed, ignoring the slow burn of Jim pressing into him while he himself continued the tantalizing jerks of his cock. As Oswald dropped his forehead against the wall in front of him, Jim could not keep himself from biting down softly into the skin of that delicate neck again that was so willingly presented to him.

Jim kept silent for the most part, aside from the groans and heavy breaths he let out due to the death grip on his cock, but he started to move - slow, calculated thrusts as he grabbed at Oswald's hips to get more leverage, always keeping in mind where they were and that they could get caught at every given moment.

It was hard to think of something else than of the heat of his lover wrapped around him so tightly as he allowed his head to roll back ever so slightly to catch a glimpse of the stars above. Only as Oswald rocked back against him during one of his deeper thrusts, he drew a deep moan out of Jim’s throat. He could feel how Oswald was slowly losing it and all but hissed in his ear because of the sounds that were spilling out of him that were driving Jim insane in the best way possible even though to him it wasn't exactly new that Oswald was very vocal during sex, much to his own delight, he might add. He let his hand glide up Oswald’s chest, then raked his nails down the soft skin as he slammed himself into the young man mercilessly drawing only a choked sob from Oswald in the process.

»Fuck!« He breathed and Jim noticed how his left foot was slipping a little on the snow on the ground as Jim kept hammering into him. At this moment, he didn't care for how many other men or women had Oswald like this before. At this moment, Oswald was his and he wanted him to understand that. »If you dare to slow down now … I’ll swear … I’ll murder you, James.« Oswald managed to get out between his thrusts but only drew a low chuckle from Jim in response. Being threatened with murder during sex was also not new to him since the last night that he had spent with Oswald.

He tried not to grin from ear to ear as he panted breathlessly and continued to fuck into Oswald, his hands gripping his hips once more so hard that he would probably end up leaving marks on him even through the layers of clothing that Oswald was wearing like a protective armor - not that he didn't want to do that, of course. Fuck, if he had his way, he would mark him all over so that everyone would be aware who Oswald belonged to and so that no one would ever dare do as much as look at Oswald the wrong way again. It was new to him to feel so oddly possessive over another person and yet he liked it too much to honestly care. Maybe a part of him even wanted Oswald to marvel at those marks and remember who had fucked him stupid.

Jim leaned forward again and bit down hard on his neck right below his left ear, making Oswald gasp in pain for just a quick second, though he was doubtful that it really did hurt him. He was close now. He could feel the dull heat building up inside of him every time he slammed into Oswald now. »I’m close…« He breathed against Oswald’s skin over the sound of their skin smacking and he did not need verbal confirmation that Oswald felt just the same. He didn't see it, but he was well aware that Oswald was touching himself while Jim fucked into him. The way he shuddered betrayed him just as well as the deep immoral moans coming from his throat.

Oswald was so loud that Jim was almost certain that someone from the club would come out to take a look any second now, as he pushed back against Jim again. All kinds of sounds and curses were spilling out of him, accompanied by painful whimpers and hissing sounds between his teeth as Oswald was bucking into his own hand as he came, groaning as the splatter of cum hit the wall in front of him. Jim had no chance as he felt how Oswald tensed around him so suddenly and almost painfully hard, practically forcing his own orgasm out of him as he pressed his forehead to Oswald’s back in a shuddering moan of his own. His movements stilled after just a few seconds and he lazily wrapped his arms around Oswald’s waist just to keep him where he was for a second longer now.

»You are very loud…« Jim hummed against the skin of Oswald’s neck, tasting the sweat that was running out of his hair on his lips as he pressed a kiss to his neck. »Not that I’m complaining or anything, though.« He enjoyed being able to feel his heartbeat thundering against his lips as he pressed them to Oswald’s throat, feeling just how fast his pulse was hammering.

He had never done something as rash as this, never even thought about it as he came here. He didn't quite know what he had hoped for as he came to the nightclub. He had wanted to see Oswald, yes, maybe sleep with him once again, but he would have never thought that his night would take such a drastic turn and in such short a time too. As Jim finally pulled out and quickly disposed of the condom, Oswald turned around rather quickly to steal another kiss from his lips. »That was … a rather pleasant surprise.« Oswald huffed against his lips as he tried to catch his breath almost desperately before he pulled up his pants slowly. »You could have told me what you wanted, though. I wouldn't have complained.« There was a smirk ghosting over his face all too quickly that prompted Jim again to pull him into yet another sloppy little kiss.

»We could resume this at my place.« He didn't want to step away from Oswald and yet that was exactly what he had to do after he tucked his own cock back inside his pants to zip them up. This, right here, was not at all like him. Yes, he had no problem hooking up with people, no problem with one night stands, but something like this … Well, that was new. As he went to pick up Oswald's umbrella, the door of the club that led into the alleyway was opened from the inside and Jim almost felt his heart stop as some big brawny guy in a pinstriped suit stepped outside to throw a bag of trash into one of the bins. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Oswald and Jim out here. Oswald's face was a bright red and he was still panting heavily from his recent orgasm and wouldn't he know it any better he would have thought he saw something akin as concern wash over that guy’s face.

»Oswald you're still here? Everything alright?« The man asked and nodded in Jim’s general direction, prompting Oswald into a quick response.

»Sure, everything is okay, Butch. Thank you for your concern. I just slipped and fell and this gentleman was friendly enough to help me up.« The lie came so quick that Jim was sure that Oswald was comfortable with lying. He didn't even think about it, it just came out as he needed it to and nothing on his face betrayed that lie either. In hindsight, that should have concerned him, but at the moment, it didn't. Meanwhile it was impossible for Jim to tell whether Butch believed him or not. Butch’s gaze lingered on Jim’s face for a moment longer as Jim gave Oswald back his umbrella, but then he nodded as if satisfied with what he had concluded about the situation.

»Alright.« He murmured. »You had a long day, go home, rest, tomorrow will be another long day.« With these words, Butch granted Jim a curt nod and resumed his mission of throwing the trash away before he stepped back inside the club. There was a long moment of silence between the two young men out here in the cold where they just stared at the club’s exit as they could hear how the door was being locked from inside, before Jim was the first to burst out laughing, clutching his stomach. Oswald was quick to join and he had never been more relieved to hear someone laugh after he had just fucked them stupid.  

»Oh, dear!« Oswald huffed between laughter. »That was close! Warn me next time!«

»Next time?« Jim grinned sheepishly, recovering from his fit of laughter only slowly, as he gave him back his umbrella. There were no words spoken, only a sly little grin tugging on Oswald’s lips. This was how it begun, a grin tugging on those sinful lips. This was what sealed his doom because from this night onwards, Jim found himself coming back to Fish Mooney’s club every night.

※※※※※※※

»Your boss seems to be very fond of you, huh?« Jim found himself humming softly into Oswald's thick, soft black hair as it gently brushed and tickled his nose. Spooning with Oswald had become something familiar by this point. Maybe a little too familiar even, some might claim.

»What makes you think that?« To his great satisfaction, Oswald sounded just as sleepy as he himself felt. Outside the world was covered in complete darkness, so thick, Jim was sure he would be able to cut the darkness with a knife if he would so desire.

»Those little gifts she gives you.« Jim smirked as his long fingers found the slim silver necklace around Oswald's thin neck that was usually hidden beneath Oswald's shirts and ties to play gently with the silver pendant in form of an umbrella. »I’m almost starting to get jealous.«

»Almost?« He sounded hopeful but tried to mask it with his usual playfulness. Jim loved his cocky nature and his general playful attitude, the glee he took in almost everything he did, as if life was but a game and he determined to win.

»Almost.«

»So you're not the jealous type then, huh?«

»Not necessarily, no.« Jim huffed and the air leaving his mouth made Oswald’s raven hair vibrate just a little. »At least I am not that type when I am sure of my partner’s loyalty towards me.«

»And you're sure of my loyalty?«

»Maybe.« Jim smirked again as his fingers were tracing down Oswald's stomach ever so gently, almost reaching down to his cock - almost. He enjoyed just lying here with him, his arms wrapped around Oswald from behind, his smaller body fitting perfectly into the curve of Jim’s own body as he was resting on his side and letting his fingertips just brush over the sensitive skin of Oswald’s flat stomach. Oswald seemed to be satisfied with that answer for now as he hummed into the touch.

»Miss Mooney treats me well, I couldn't have found a better job and opportunity. I am very grateful for her trust and her fondness of me.« He thought that there was something that Oswald did not tell him, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was just now. Maybe he should not pry too much anyway. They were not in a relationship, not quite, at least. He didn't know what to call this thing they had just yet. It was an affair, maybe that was how they should call it. Not that it would be of any importance to them now at this very moment.

»It's a shame that she didn't hire you as a singer, though.« Jim mumbled quietly against his hair again. »You have such a beautiful voice.«

»Especially when I’m screaming for you, huh?« Oswald gently teased and rocked his hips back just enough to draw a moan from Jim, but not nearly enough for anything serious to come from it.

»Especially when you are screaming for me.« Jim huffed, letting his left hand slide to Oswald's left shoulder just to turn the other man around swiftly so that he could steal another kiss from him. Already he was lost in those blue eyes and that voice. Already he had lost all chance of redemption. »I never want to leave this bed.«

»Then don't.« Oswald grinned. By now he had completely fallen in love with that grin and yet he would never say it. Weeks had gone by like this, with Jim going to the nightclub every night when it was closing to pick Oswald up and lead him back to his own apartment right away. They had met in December and now February was almost around the next corner and Jim had learned that the weather in Gotham never seemed to change. The only thing that did change was the shade of grey that held the sky in a tight embrace during the day and the amount of snow that would fall at night, just like now, falling in thick white flakes to the ground.

»I have to.« He sighed.

»But not right now.« Oswald smirked. »Tomorrow morning.«

»Tomorrow morning.« Jim agreed with a smile, tightening his grip around Oswald’s slim shoulders. In reality, all Jim wanted to do was to spend eternity with Oswald in this bed. When he first got back to Gotham he had been excited about the prospect of joining the police force at the GCPD after his time abroad as a soldier but now that this day had come, he didn't wish to leave his bed, he didn't wish to kiss Oswald goodbye in the early morning hours. Already he was in too deep. Already he would miss him during the day and yet he hardly knew a thing about the young man in his arms. Maybe that was a little unfair to himself, though, he wondered. After all, he knew plenty about Oswald.

He knew how his body reacted when he would kiss his neck. He knew how his toes would curl when he had an orgasm. He knew how he tasted. He knew that Oswald liked being on top during sex without actually topping. He knew that Oswald liked to be in control and how gladly he gave up control during sex. He knew that Oswald liked it rough, that he loved to bite and scratch and tease. He knew how perfectly their bodies fitted together and how much of a pull this man had on him, how much he couldn't resist him. After the second night that they had spent together, Jim had sworn himself that he would not go to Mooney’s again and yet, the next night, he had been there once again and Oswald had greeted him with this shark-like grin, slipping his left hand into Jim’s right and going with him without a need for explanation. And, in the end, that was what he loved about being with Oswald. There was not much need for words, not much need for explanation. Oswald seemed to read him like an open book with just a glance out of these icy blue eyes. And Jim marveled at his wit and intelligence. They would not only fuck when they met at this point. Their affair had reached another level already.

Nights had passed in which they had just lain together or watched TV, ate together and talked about nothing at all. He knew that Oswald was twenty-nine years old and that he would turn thirty next June. He knew that he was still living with his overbearing mother because though she was overbearing and possessive of her only child, he loved her dearly and would not want to part with her. It was cute in a way and he was certain that his mother would not approve of her son fucking another man in a random alleyway in the middle of the night. Sometimes, he would tease Oswald with remarks like these and then Oswald would just laugh and claim that he did many things his mother would not approve of would she know about them.

It was nice to have Oswald with him. It was nice not having to talk about the army or the war of his new job like he was forced to in almost every conversation he would have with old friends and family. Oswald didn't care for his military career and he didn't care for his new job at the GCPD. In fact, he had never asked what Jim was doing for a living and Jim had never asked for details about Oswald's work. Oswald once told him that he was Mooney’s new umbrella boy and Jim had shrugged it off with a little laugh, certain that Oswald was just making a joke. »I am her entertainment.« He had once said and for the shortest moment the gleam in his blue eyes had been unsettling to Jim, but he hadn't asked because a little voice in the back of his head told him that he didn't want to know the details, that he didn't want to burden himself with the details. This was an affair, nothing more. He didn't need the details.

All that mattered was Oswald being in his arms tonight, and the night after that, and after that, and after that.

※※※※※※※

It was the first time that he visited Fish Mooney’s club during the daytime and on the way to the door he felt his stomach turn. The moment his new partner, Harvey Bullock, had mentioned the name of the informant they would have to meet in their investigation of the Wayne murders that happened a few days ago, he had felt sick to the stomach. Harvey was a sorry excuse for a detective of the GCPD, but Jim had understood rather quickly that his understanding of police work and upholding the law, was quite different from that of most others at his new job. He had never seen cops beating a captive in front of other cops and civilians, but this seemed to be how things worked at the GCPD and no one would bat a lash or dare to interfere.

Harvey, at least, was blind to Jim's discomfort as they entered the nightclub with the neon fish above the door. The Waynes, Martha and her husband Thomas, had been killed four nights ago and they still had no leads on their case. Visiting Mooney, who was apparently in charge of the theater district, was their last resort on finding the killer. This was, what Jim tried to tell himself, though. It wasn’t as if the fact that Fish Mooney was part of the mob came as a surprise. Deep down he had known, but he had chosen ignorance. His heart was pounding from the moment they stepped into the establishment, his hands sweaty at the sole possibility that he would see Oswald when he would turn around the next corner. Of course, there was nothing he had to fear, per se. They were here for a case. So what if he would meet the guy he was fucking regularly during an investigation? No big deal. He was a professional and he wouldn't do anything that would put his professionality into question, as he was sure that Oswald wouldn't do anything of that sort either, would he understand that this was no private visit.

That was not the point in his dilemma anyway. The point was that Fish Mooney, as Harvey had told him on his way to the theater district, was part of Gotham’s infamous mob, even more so, she was an underling of none other than Don Carmine Falcone himself. This still did not mean a problem for him and his relationship with Oswald. Yet, he couldn't ignore the fact that Oswald, his Oswald, was working for a mobster, at an establishment that was owned by the mob.

Harvey walked straight up to the bar Jim had sat at only a few weeks ago, in December when he first came back to Gotham. The barkeeper who was idly polishing a glass did not seem to recognize him as he glanced at him and then at his partner Harvey. »Tell Fish that I am here.« Harvey told the young man behind the bar in a way that indicated to Jim that Harvey and Fish had history - as if he needed any more proof of that fact, to begin with. He didn't know how to feel or think about being here at a mob-owned establishment now that he knew without a doubt. He didn't know how to feel or think about having to go to a mobster for information. And he didn't know how to feel and think about the sounds coming through the half-open door leading to the back alley of the establishment.

The barkeeper was quick to nod and leave his position at the bar to hurry through that same door. Outside it was raining cats and dogs, melting the snow that had fallen all through the night and indicating a change of season ever so slightly. Only a few moments later, Fish Mooney, Oswald's boss walked in through the door with her chin held high and gracefully like a cat on her ridiculously high heels. She had a certain presence about her that told everyone not to fuck with her right away and a deadly charm that was easy to fall for. As she saw his partner, she opened her arms wide and Harvey reacted in taking off his hat with a grin and a small bow in her direction.

»Harvey!« She smiled like she was greeting an old friend - which she probably was judging by everything Jim had learned about his partner, this city and the GCPD during the last few days since he started working for the police in Gotham.

»Fish!«

»Where have you been?« She cooed stepping closer, her heels click-clacking on the floor.

»Where haven't I been?« Harvey grinned and she greeted him with a kiss to the cheek. Harvey reciprocated the gesture all too eagerly while Jim could only watch on in amazement. He knew that Harvey liked to joke about him being a boy scout but he just couldn't shake off his disgust. They shouldn’t be buddies with mobsters, they shouldn't greet mobsters with kisses and hugs. Everything about that felt wrong and yet who was he to say something? Still, all he could think about at this moment was the beautiful filigree silver necklace around Oswald's beautiful thin neck that was hidden underneath his elegant clothes. Suddenly, the memory of having played with that necklace just last night again as he had Oswald in his arms, left a sour taste in his mouth. Since he started working, their time together had been cut a little shorter and he had still not told Oswald that he was a cop. In retrospect, he couldn't tell why he hadn't told him or why Oswald had never asked.  

»Who’s your friend?« Fish Mooney finally turned her attention to Jim now as she turned her head just slightly.

»Detective James Gordon, Ma’am.« Jim was quick to reply, eager to not let his distaste for the situation show while he couldn't drown out the memory of this woman dancing with Oswald the night he had first seen him as she turned around with a smile. And though she was smiling, her eyes were as cold as the Gotham river, calculating and cruel underneath that facade of friendliness she let him see.

»Well, aren't you a cold glass of milk?« She said and while she was trying to hide her detest for him, it was still all too visible in her eyes. Did she recognize him from that night? Did she know anything about him and Oswald perhaps? Had he told her?

»Ma’am, was that screaming we heard back there?« Jim asked, shaking the thoughts from his head. Now was not the time. He was a professional and this was part of his job, whether he liked it or not.

»Yes. My boys are watching a scary movie.« She replied with a smile.

»Really?«

»No.« She wasn't even trying to play coy, she wasn't even trying to hide who she was now. She was showing her true colors right that instant, cementing her standing in the underworld with just one word, with no shame, no shrinking back in the face of the police. »Actually, one of my staff has been stealing money from me, so we are beating his punk ass.« He thought about Oswald and never in his life could have been a thought more inconvenient than at this moment. He could already see him all beaten up when he would come to pick him up later. Wait. Would he come back to pick him up tonight? He couldn't continue this now that he knew that Oswald was working for a mobster, could he? What would his colleagues say would they find out? Worse, what would Fish do, would she find out?

»Relax, Junior, Fish gets some leeway. Her staff are rough characters, need firm handling.« She was obviously pleased to hear this answer from Bullock and Jim couldn't be more affronted. They should put her ass in jail right that instant, she even admitted to the crime as it happened with no shame or decency.

»So this isn't a social visit then.« Fish turned back her attention to Harvey and tried to appear disappointed, though they all knew that she was just playing around.

»Unfortunately not. Brass sent me by to talk to you about the Wayne murders.«

»Terrible thing.«

As the screams from the outside wouldn't stop and only picked up in volume, Jim felt sweat running down his brow. Everything inside of him was screaming to get out there and see what was going on, help whoever needed his help, even if it was a thief. He was a cop and he believed in the law. Even a criminal deserved a fair trial and not to be beaten to a bloody pulp behind some shady nightclub! He didn't believe in an eye for an eye. He didn't believe in vigilantism. This was just not right. Especially if that thief might be Oswald. Then again, why would Oswald steal from his boss or anybody? He didn't really believe that it was him and yet the fear of the possibility was fogging his rationality.

»Listen, Junior, if you're worried, go back there and see if anyone wants to press charges.« He quickly turned back to Fish, his words nothing more than a mockery of his goody-two-shoes attitude. »If that's okay with you, Fish.« He felt sick just watching this exchange. Harvey was not exactly kissing her feet but he might as well could do just that at this moment. They shouldn't be here. They shouldn't lower themselves and the law to even talking to the mob.

»Mi casa e su casa.« Fish replied as she turned around to face Jim with mock concern once more and never in his life had Jim be more happy to leave a situation as he turned away from them and walked up to the exit door, still wary of what he was going to find out there. As he walked out of the club and down the small metal staircase leading into the alley and into the pouring rain, he wished he hadn't gone out there at all. As his eyes fell upon Oswald when he turned the corner around a small wooden fence shielding the back alley of the club from curious eyes, it was not the same man he had held in his arms just hours ago, whom he had kissed goodbye at his door at dawn. The man beating down on the thief in the alley with that metal baseball bat in the fine suit and the umbrella in his left hand was a wild beast with sheer joy on his face as he got to inflict pain on a fellow man.

Oswald was only stopped by two of the three other men out there.

»Oswald, whoa!« One of them huffed making Oswald stop after he had administered yet another cruel blow to the shoulder of the thief as the man was begging him to stop with blood running over his face.

»Yeah, take it easy, Penguin.« A second burly man told him with a frown on his face and Oswald was quick to whirl around to face the guy who had called him Penguin, anger etched into his features all too clearly.

»You know I don't like to be called that.« Oswald snarled as he turned his attention to the man on his left side. At this moment, Jim wished he had never taken on this job. He wished, he had never set foot into Fish Mooney’s nightclub, to begin with. He wished, he had never met Oswald Cobblepot all these weeks ago. He wished he wouldn't be here. He wished, he hadn't spoken to Bruce Wayne in the first place. He wished they could have given the case to Montoya and Allen. He wished he wouldn't need to be here and to see this side of Oswald and to know that despite his hopes, Oswald was not just simply an employee of Fish Mooney, but that he was, undoubtedly part of the mob himself. There was no way to ignore that fact for any longer now.

»How’s everybody doing?« Jim announced his presence and the moment Oswald's head whipped around to face him, he wished he hadn't. There was a moment of unspoken truths between him and Oswald and his eyes never left the man he had had in his bed for weeks now. He couldn't ignore that those delicate long fingers that had been swinging this bat at the thief until this moment were the same delicate long fingers that had gently caressed his sides last night any longer. The man in the alley had Oswald's face and yet a part of him was unwilling and unable to put them together in his head.

»And who are you?« The third man, Butch, a large guy with broad shoulders, spoke up.

»James Gordon, GCPD.« He could see the terror in Oswald's eyes, at that exact moment as the cards were sprawled out on the table between them for once. For weeks, they had danced around the topic, for weeks they had spent their time together with idle talk about nothing at all, dancing around the subjects of each others work in a never-ending tango that had left them both breathless every time they had seen each other. At this moment, Jim realized that they both had already known the truth. They had both already known it, deep inside of them, that they both had been falling hard for the worst person either one of them could have ever have fallen for. Yet, it had happened and now they knew. Those words, just those few words, underlined the end of their relationship, or whatever it was they had shared for the past few weeks. His eyes shortly darted from Oswald to the large man next to the thief and when he moved them back to Oswald, he could see that he realized the finality of it all. His heart had never been heavier.

»Drop the bat.«

 

**-End of Chapter 2-**


	3. Downfall

»I should've known.« He found himself whisper into the semi-darkness of his apartment, that was only disrupted by the light and the noise of his TV running in the background. He couldn't even tell what was going on on-screen at this point. »I should've known.« He said again, downing another glass of scotch as he did. It had been too good to be true, this thing between them, whatever it was. Love? He didn't know. He didn't care. Love seemed too big of a word and yet, yes, he had fallen hard for this man - for a criminal of all people. And now, every time he thought about Oswald, he didn't think about how his fingers felt on his skin, how his lips tasted or how beautiful a voice he had, but about how he had swung that baseball bat at the thief in the alley and about the glee in his eyes.

Outside a thunderstorm had reached Gotham, mirroring what he felt inside, a perfect image of his mind. He should have expected the knock at his door and he didn't need to look at his watch to know that it was around half past midnight because that was the time he and Oswald usually arrived at his place whenever he had picked him up from work. They had never met during the daytime, only when darkness had fallen over the city. This only occurred to him now and he couldn't help that short moment in which he thought that Oswald wasn't the same person at night as he was during the daytime. No, that was bullshit. He wasn't the same person when he was with Jim as to when he wasn't. And even that was bullshit. He had seen Oswald in that alleyway. This had been the real thing and no one could convince him of something else.

For a moment, just a moment, he thought about ignoring the knocking on his door, but the next second he was already on his feet and staggering to the door. He shouldn't do that. He shouldn't open the door. He shouldn't look at Oswald. He shouldn't let him in. He shouldn't _want_ to look at Oswald. He shouldn't _want_ to let him in. He shouldn't _want_ to hear his voice. But the magnetic pull was stronger once more and before he knew it, he had ripped open the door and was met with those pure blue eyes that he had come to love.  

»Jim, I-« He didn't allow him to speak. He couldn't. It was impossible for him to let this man speak and lie his way back into his heart like he already had these past weeks. He couldn't listen to him. He should push him back out of his apartment and slam the door in his face, instead, he grabbed his collar and pulled him inside, his lips coming crashing down on Oswald’s in one way too hungry display of affection.

He knew it was a mistake. He knew that he couldn't do this. He knew that he shouldn’t do this but he still couldn't stop his hands from pushing Oswald against the door after he had slammed it close. He didn't care if he was bruising him perhaps. He didn't care if he was hurting him, perhaps. Oswald hadn't cared as he had beaten up that thief either. And yet, despite that he knew that all of this was a mistake, he still ripped off Oswald's coat and suit jacket, feeling him gripping and ripping at his own clothes as well. They were naked before they even reached the bedroom. It wasn't right. It didn't feel right, none of it, not the tongue scraping down his throat, not the kisses he was peppering down Oswald's stomach, not those sweet moans escaping Oswald's throat as he took him at once, uncaring for any kind of preparation at all.

The way their bodies moved in complete unison as he fucked Oswald with so much vigor that his bed was actually pushing against the wall. Even the screams he had come to love in the past now sounded wrong in his ears and pained him. Oswald still looked gorgeous like this. His hair was a complete mess, his cheeks flushed and his eyes glazed over with lust as Jim thrust harder even and Oswald’s legs were a familiar weight on his shoulders. And Oswald took it all as if he thought he deserved it. His moans and screams were always split between pleasure and pain and yet he took it. He took him as he was, raw and dry and without any preparation, his body welcoming Jim’s the same way it had last night. Even when Jim drew blood as he bit into his left shoulder, Oswald just took it with another gasping moan somewhere between agony and bliss. He knew that his fingers would leave marks on Oswald’s neck as he pressed a feverish kiss to his open mouth and wrapped them tightly around the pale throat of his lover and the thought satisfied him and sent jolts of excitement straight into his cock.

It had been a mistake. The thought never left him. Not even as he found his orgasm and spilled buried deep inside of Oswald. As they lay tangled in his sheets later, still gasping for breath, their hearts still racing like mad, unable to understand what just happened between them, he knew that it had been a mistake. Oswald looked beautiful in the dim light of his apartment with sweat covering his entire body, his hair a disheveled mess. The marks Jim had left would stay with him for days, weeks, perhaps even. He had been rough with Oswald, maybe even a little brutal. He couldn't deny it and yet he knew that he would feel something akin to shame as soon as the next morning would roll around. Tomorrow, he knew, he would not recognize himself in the mirror again. He would feel ashamed of the violent tendencies that he had shown this night. He would feel ashamed of the monster he knew was buried deep inside of him and had now shown it's ugly face to Oswald.

He felt drained and tired but not in a blissful, good way. It was as it had always been with Oswald. They didn't need words. Oswald knew what he wanted to say and hadn't been able to say until now. Oswald knew that this was the last time they would share something like this. Yet, as he turned on his side to look at Jim, his eyes were desperate. »I love you.« He whispered into the darkness as if he could take it back that way, as if Jim might not hear him like this. »I … I … Let me explain, okay?«

»You know that we can't keep doing this.« Even to him, his own words sounded cruel and cold. There relationship had been like a dance from the beginning. Most of their trysts rushed and hard. Most of their kisses all tongue and teeth. From the first moment onwards, they had been clawing and ripping and biting at each other, desperate to find hold in the other person. Two sides of the very same coin, like the sun and the moon, like fire and ice. Every dance needed to end.

»Why?« Oswald was clinging to him before he could do anything about it, pressing one more desperate kiss to Jim’s mouth only to find him unresponsive. »Because you are a cop and I work for Fish?«

»Because I am a cop and you are a criminal.« The words were meant as an insult and that was exactly how they sounded too.

»I’m-«

»Spare me, Oswald.« He hissed and finally sat up to move his body to the edge of his bed, allowing his shoulders to slump as he sat there for a moment, overcome by regret and grief for that relationship he could have had if he had never learned the truth. As he sat there now, he could only think how he would have been able to enjoy life with Oswald, if he had just chosen to continue living in blissful ignorance, how it could have been had he never talked to Bruce Wayne and promised that poor orphaned boy to find his parents’ killer. »I saw you today. This was _you_. The real you. Finally, I saw you for what you are. You enjoyed beating the crap out of that thief. You did.«

»No, Jim, I … I just did what I was told! I did what I had to do to survive! To be a part of this!« He was moving quickly behind Jim, wrapped his thin arms around him as he was melting against Jim’s back in that way he loved so much - in the way that made his stomach churn now as he felt Oswald’s hot breath against his neck, where he was placing soft kisses to soothe his mind.

»To be a part of this? You want to be a part of this?«

»No!« Oswald hurried. »Y-yes! I-I mean … What do you want me to say?«

»There's nothing you could say, Oswald. If I would ask of you to leave Fish and be an honest, lawful man, you would say that you will and we both know that this would be a lie. It's your nature. What you did today … The man I saw in that alley … this was the real you.«

»No, Jim!« He tried again, this time touching his jaw to force him to turn his head just enough so that he could look at Oswald. »I swear to you … This as I am now, this is the real me! You know me, James! You knew me from the moment you saw me on that stage, remember? I am not like this! I am not some kind of monster! I’m … just Oswald … _Your_ Oswald.« _My little Songbird_ , a part of Jim thought anxiously. That nickname had etched itself in the back of Jim’s mind and it was what he would think of in lonely hours at the precinct. Now it just left a sour taste in his mouth and made his stomach churn. His little songbird was a criminal, was a mobster. His little songbird was a siren and had lured him into a trap.

»It's only a facette of the real you and we both know that this is not enough, Oswald.« _I wished it were enough. Why can’t it be enough?_ Because he was James Worthington Gordon and he had his father’s memory to uphold and honor. Because his reputation was more important.

»Then … What? What now?«

»You know how this ends.«

»It doesn't have to! This city is corrupt! The GCPD is corrupt! So what if you sleep with a mobster? I could be your snitch! I could be your slave for life, Jim! Nobody has to know! I … Please, Jim! It doesn't have to end! I do love you, I am telling the truth!« He believed him, that was the worst part of it all. The best liars always spoke the truth and Oswald was undoubtedly saying the truth now. This didn't make it any easier as he finally got up from his bed and grabbed his boxer shorts from the ground. He paused for a second, glancing at the item of clothing in his fist. He couldn't even look at Oswald at this moment. Everything hurt and his heart felt as if it was torn apart more and more the longer he stood here and talked to him.

»I'm going to take a shower. I want you gone when I’m done.«

※※※※※※※

The case was closed. Days had gone by without a lead. Days that they had spent trying to find that killer after Jim had given Bruce Wayne his promise to find them. He was starting to get restless and the whole of Gotham was joining him in his descent into madness as it seemed. Having his thoughts revolve around Oswald in addition to all of that, was not of any help either. He hadn't seen the young mobster since that awful last night they had shared in his bed. Oswald had left his apartment as he had been told by Jim without another word or a message, without showing up at his place again, his promises of love still hanging in the air like the sweet scent of death and his lovely voice haunting his dreams. It was unbearable.

However, as he woke up that morning he did so knowing that the Wayne murder was solved. Mario Pepper was dead and they had found Martha Wayne’s necklace. Today he would give it back to Bruce to put an end to all of this. Of course, he wished Pepper would be alive, but Harvey had shot him to save Jim and despite his anger, he was still grateful. Yet, Jim couldn't shake off the feeling that something just wasn't right about all of this. Something about this case didn't sit right with him. Harvey said that it was his inability to let things go and accept that sometimes a situation just was that easy to solve. However, nothing ever seemed easy in Gotham and his life. He had fallen in love with a mobster of all people, after all. If that wasn't proof enough of how things were never easy, he didn't know what was.

This morning, he found himself sitting in his bed alone for quite a while, staring at the flaking white ceiling and dragging his fingers over the other side of his bed where Oswald used to lie only to find nothing at all. There was not even a leftover residue of warmth now. His bed was cold and lonely. However, his fingers caught on something lying between the sheets and as he took the item he could feel his heart drop already. Oswald must have lost his necklace during their last night together, maybe even as Jim had wrapped his fingers around that swan-like neck, and now it was dangling from Jim’s fingers, staring at him like an insult. He should give it back. No, he urged himself. He would not again set foot in Mooney’s bar and give him back his necklace. He would not see him again if he could avoid it. Was this making him a coward? Perhaps.

As he later walked into the precinct, he had the necklace in the pocket of his suit jacket and was once more greeted like some kind of hero walking through the bullpen. Usually, he would have enjoyed being congratulated by his colleagues who had frowned about him just at the start of that same week when he began his duty but he couldn't quite bring himself to find joy in the praise, even as he sat down and was rewarded with an appreciative grunt from Harvey on the desk opposite of his. He really couldn't tell what it was about this particular day that felt so odd.

As night fell upon Gotham and Jim returned to his apartment, he knew what it was. He found Oswald sitting in front of his apartment door, his knees raised to his chest and his chin dropped to his knees until he heard how Jim was approaching the door. As their eyes met, Oswald scrambled to his feet in no time.

»What do you want, Oswald?« Jim groaned walking up to his door as he tried to ignore that smile that was playing on Oswald's face despite the coldness of his voice. He brushed past the young mobster as he unlocked his door to gain access. »I told you I didn't want to see you again. If anyone sees us together we are both doomed and you know that.«

»I know!« Oswald quickly replied as he followed him inside of his flat without waiting for an invitation that wouldn't come anyway. Of course, that was not what Jim had wanted to achieve, but he knew that talking to him outside in the hallway would just invite problems for him. More than he already had. Not to think of Harvey ever finding out about him and Oswald. He had broken things off, yes, but still he had fucked a mobster for weeks, almost two whole months. »I am here because I have information you might wanna hear.«

»I don't need any kind of information you could give me, Oswald.«

»It's about the Wayne murders!« That, finally, made Jim pause as he took off his coat. The necklace was long but forgotten in the pocket of his suit jacket.

»The Wayne murders are solved. Mario Pepper is dead.«

»Yes, so I heard and you are hailed the hero of Gotham though your partner Harvey Bullock shot him.« Suddenly, there was something else in his eyes as he spoke. That was not the same Oswald he had been with for those weeks and Jim started to realize that this was exactly what had drawn him to Oswald. This right here, that promise of danger, those sharp wits and ever attentive blue eyes, the darkness lingering behind them. »Sadly, poor old Mario wasn't the killer, but merely a scapegoat in this whole ordeal.«

»And what makes you think that?«

»Because I know that Fish Mooney is behind those murders. I saw her with Martha Wayne’s necklace that same night that they died, James. She framed Mario for those murders and planted the necklace in his possession. Of course, I only realized that as I saw the photo of the pearls in the newspaper this morning.«

Again Jim found himself pausing as he stared at Oswald. He was unwilling to move any further from the door because the more he would get away from the door the deeper he would stumble back into this whole mess with Oswald and next time he wouldn't be able to get out alone. Next time, he would be lost forever. Already he could feel the urge to pull him close and ravish his mouth and so he crossed his arms instead, trying to stay away from the undertow before it could rip him into the deep. »Fish Mooney?« He asked surprised and challenging all the same. If it was true what he said then Don Carmine Falcone had wanted the Waynes dead. »She is your boss, I thought you liked her. Why is it that you blackmail her now?« He believed Oswald. That was the problem. He believed him because Oswald didn't have a reason to lie to him. Not really, at least.

And finally, those words were all it had taken for Oswald to drop the charade as he let out a huff of air that almost sounded like a little laugh before he began pacing the apartment. »I did, once.« He then all but growled. »That was before she made me her umbrella boy. That was before she made me her entertainment. That was before she made me kneel before her to rub her feet as though she was some kind of queen and I only her loyal servant, good enough to rub her feet and fill her glass with wine. I have been working for almost a year for her now at the club and when it finally was my chance to get the job I always wanted, she made me her umbrella boy instead and insulted me even further!«

Hurt ego. That was it. Fish had hurt his pride and his ego and now Oswald was lashing out. That, for once, surprised him. Oswald had always appeared very confident to Jim, having him lash out like this because this woman didn't give him the job he wanted, was the least he would have expected. »I thought you would be a whole lot stronger than that.« Jim found himself replying with a smirk.

»She humiliated me, Jim.« Oswald snarled. »She humiliated me in front of her mindless gorillas, kept me under her thumb, kept me small and stupid as if I wasn't worth her time and effort. She never saw my true potential, keeping me as a pet if nothing else, calling me a penguin although she is the one who has as much grace as a cow on ice. Oh, how she always begged for my attention when she was drunk! _Oswald, come dance with me, Oswald come sing for me!_ And yet I did not get the recognition that I truly deserved! So, no, Jim, I do not intend of protecting this vile woman for what she did. I might be a criminal, but at least I am honest in what I am doing. What she did was vile. She had two innocent people killed and made a young boy an orphan and then had the audacity to try on his mother’s pearls in front of me! If you truly want to be the hero of Gotham, you ought to arrest her.«

As he spoke next, he was almost uncertain himself of what he wanted to say. »Oswald, why do you tell me all of that? Why not turn to the MCU instead?« He knew the answer. Of course, he knew the proper answer already because it was etched into the lines of Oswald's face. He was pretty in the aggressive light of his shit-hole apartment. He was pretty as those clear blue eyes glanced at him through those beautiful long and thick lashes. A part of him was afraid that, would he hear the answer to his question, he would no longer be able to leave this situation unscathed. Then again, neither one of them would. They were both already hurt so badly by this all and by the unfairness of the situation. Still, Jim remained steadfast. If he would let this continue for even a minute longer, he would drown and he would be corrupted and betray everything he stood for, everything his father had stood for, everything he ever wanted and claimed to be. He couldn’t let Oswald win because it would be his downfall if he would.

»What do you think?« _I know it_. He wanted to say. _I love you too_ , he wanted to say, but instead, he pinched his lips into a thin hard line. »I love you. I want to help you. We could make a formidable duo, Jim! We could have a perfect alliance, Jim! You’ll see, with me at your side, you are going to have a great career. We could rule this city together! I am good at what I am doing, I have a gift for it.«

»I bet you do.« Jim sighed and rubbed his temples. Maybe it was unfair what he said. Maybe he shouldn't be that condescending towards Oswald. It was true that he didn't agree with Oswald on his choice of career, but this didn't make Oswald a bad person per se. He did what he was doing to survive, at least that was what Jim wanted to believe and yet … He could not forget the sheer glee in Oswald's eyes as he had beaten that thief. He had enjoyed inflicting pain. That was not about survival. In that moment, he had not done what he had needed to do at all. In this moment, he had enjoyed beating another human being, punishing another human being even though that was not part of his job at all. He hadn't needed to do this, he had _wanted_ it. He had _wanted_ to inflict pain.

Oswald's eyes were pleading as he looked at Jim now and everything inside of him just wanted to give in, to give up and allow Oswald to sneak his way back into his heart, even though he had never quite left his heart anyway. Wouldn't it be just much easier to follow Harvey's advice and give in to temptation like everyone else around him? It would be so much easier to accept Oswald back into his life and his bed, to allow him to corrupt him completely and irredeemably and just be one of all the other corrupt cops in this city. At least then he would be allowed to be with Oswald.

Yet, he found himself opening his apartment door once more and lowered his head and his eyes to the ground, a silent gesture that even Oswald seemed to understand as he stepped closer again, gripping with trembling fingers for Jim’s suit jacket and never quite reaching him. »Please, Jim, I-I … I really mean it! I love you, I want to help you, I want to see you flourish.«

»If that is what you want, if that is how you truly feel, then I ask only of you to leave now and never contact me again.« This was final and somehow it felt even more final than the last time he had asked Oswald to leave and not to come back again. This time there was no second chance, no more Oswald coming to his apartment to give him the information he needed and wanted to outsmart his colleagues. He wanted to be an honest cop. And he didn't want help to climb the ladder. Just like his father he wanted to achieve everything out of his own power and his father, surely, would have never even considered working with a criminal.

Oswald hovered for just a second longer, his mouth agape and moving as if he wanted desperately to say something but couldn't quite find the right words for it or maybe he had found them and just couldn't bring himself to say them. He wished this moment to be over, he wished Oswald wouldn't make it just so very hard for him, he wished Oswald's clear blue eyes would not look so hurt and desperate for his approval. In the end, however, Oswald closed his mouth, swallowed thickly and nodded.

»As you wish.« He finally replied. There was no malice in his words, not even the hint of a threat against Jim as one might have expected, perhaps. Instead, Oswald just turned around and left his apartment with his head held high and his posture as straight and elegant as always. And Jim, as he closed his door and found himself leaning heavily against it, wished he hadn't left.

 

**-End of Chapter 3-**

 


	4. End

He shouldn't have gone to Fish Mooney alone. He had talked to Bullock after he had gone to Mario Pepper’s widow again. He didn't doubt Oswald, funnily enough. There was no reason why he should have been lying to him, in the first place. Well, of course, he could have lied. He could have fabricated all of this to get rid of Mooney and win him over again, but he didn't believe it. And after he had met Mario Pepper’s widow, Alice, and looked at his shoes in their closet, he had come to realize that Oswald's story had to have been true. Mario Pepper was not in possession of the kind of shoes Bruce Wayne had seen on his parents’ killer that night. It was a small detail, but a damning one at that, no matter how much Harvey would protest and insist on that not being important.

As expected, after he had told Harvey of his suspicions that Pepper had been framed by Mooney herself, he had warned him, unwilling to get involved in that case yet again. He hadn't told Harvey about Oswald, hadn't told him that he got all his information about the case from him, but when Harvey had asked, he had told him that he had gotten an anonymous tip from someone who was working for Mooney. » _The case is closed, forget about it_.« Those had been his words and Jim, even though he knew that Harvey didn't really feel that way, hadn't been quite able to swallow his disgust at those words. They had killed an innocent man but this didn't mean anything to his new partner. He was just one more lazy, corrupt pig in this police force. The fact that they had made a woman a widow and a small girl an orphan, wasn't important to him, at least not important enough to risk his job.

And yet, Jim was here once again, standing in front of the nightclub with the neon fish over the door. At this moment he was Detective James Gordon and not Jim who would go in there to see the man he loved or pick up the man he loved. He was here for business and though he had to take a deep breath and force himself to be professional, he barged into the nightclub as a cop. To his disappointment, Oswald sat at the bar doing some paperwork as it seemed and the moment he heard the front door fall shut, Oswald's head whipped up and their eyes met. He could clearly see the flicker of hope cross through those beautiful blue eyes as he quickly rose from his barstool to face him. But then, as Jim refused to directly look at him, Oswald's posture quickly changed and the words he had wanted to say died in his throat as he forced a pleasant smile. »Detective Gordon.«

»Tell Mooney I’m here.«

»May I ask why?« It was as if they were strangers and yet everything about this altercation was much too personal, much too intimate. Oswald had seen a glimpse of the monster deep inside of him and he had seen the monster lurking behind those azure blue eyes. He could feel the tension lingering in the air.

»No.« He said as their eyes finally locked for a moment. Oswald knew exactly why he was here and suddenly he looked nervous, before Jim’s eyes caught on a small sign leading the way to the office of Miss Mooney. Without another word, Jim just stepped around him and walked through the archway to his right the sign was leading to and then straight through the wide open office door. He found Fish sitting at her beautifully and undoubtedly hand-crafted, heavy mahogany desk with a game of chess in front of her and her safe behind her, looking her best in her flowing red silk dress as always.

»James Gordon. How nice.« She said but in the way she spoke, he could feel her hostility towards him. She didn't trust him. She didn't trust Bullock either, but they understood each other at least. To her, Jim was an error in the matrix, something she couldn't quite figure out yet and that irked her. He knew what was coming just by the tone of her voice alone even before he had said a thing to her at all. He knew he would have to fight his way out of this club at that moment and yet, as his lights were knocked out cold a few minutes after he had first entered her office, he was surprised that it had been her who knocked him out and not the two gorillas that had come to her aide.

※※※※※※※

It was when Bullock arrived at the scene, the meat processing factory where Jim had hung upside down from one of the meathooks like one of the pigs he had on each side of his, that everything had spiraled out of control. It was then, that he had known that him arriving at the club like this, had not only endangered him but put Oswald in harm's way too. The moment Harvey had told Fish through that phone that he got from Butch that one of her boys had sung to Jim and thus to the GCPD, Jim had known that Oswald was doomed. He had seen it in the way Butch’s eyes had flickered as he had taken the phone back from Bullock. Oswald was doomed because of him and right as Bullock had handed over the phone back to Butch, Oswald’s death sentence had been sealed once and for all.

He couldn't tell how much time he and his partner had spent hanging upside down from those hooks with only Butch and two other armed mobsters as company. Naturally, they hadn't talked all that much, although Harvey had given it his best effort to make light conversation with Butch Gilzean, Fish Mooney’s right-hand man and, according to Harvey, one of the last few decent guys in the business.

For once in his life, Jim didn't know what to expect when Fish arrived at the factory with Oswald in her tow as he was dragged along by one of her bodyguards, his meaty right fist buried in Oswald’s raven hair. He looked horrible with worse yet to come. There was blood running down his face and out of his broken nose, he had a cut running over his cheek and across his nose. His left shoulder hung unnaturally from his body and beneath the blood, his skin was even paler than usual.

»Look who we have here!« Fish cooed as she stopped in front of the two bound cops with Oswald in tow. »Isn't that your little lover boy, Oswald?«

Her bodyguard finally let go of Oswald's hair and the young man unceremoniously slumped to the ground like a sack of potatoes. He seemed utterly exhausted by this point and Jim could do nothing except wish that there would be anything he could do to help him. However, as he looked up at Fish now, he knew that there was no way out of this alive. At least not for all three of them. Fish’s eyes drilled into his as she looked down on him now. His head was hurting awfully from hanging upside down for so long. He could feel the veins popping on his forehead.

»Isn't that right, James?«

»I don't know him!« His answer came quickly and the flicker as Oswald glanced at him through messy hair, didn't escape him. »I don't know who that snitch was, I swear! I don't know this man!«

Mooney bit out a small mirthless laugh at his sorry attempt at protecting Oswald. He couldn't fool anyone. »You don't know him? Color me surprised, James. Wasn't this little rat the one who was sucking you off front left and center for weeks now? Was it not my little penguin who spread his legs for you like a wanton little whore? Wasn't he the one who came running to you so you would take his punk-ass back? Just imagine my surprise as I heard from Harvey about how one of my boys has snitched on me to you! And then the heartbreak as I realized that it could only have been Oswald, my little bird, my penguin, who was like a son to me! Imagine my hurt when I realized that he stabbed me in the back like this after everything I did for him! Had I not taken him in, he would still sell his ass and mouth somewhere down the street and that's the gratitude I get! Sleeping with a policeman!«

He could feel Harvey’s eyes on him but for once he couldn't care less what his new partner thought about him. So what Harvey knew about him and Oswald? By this point, there was nothing that could get any worse. They had already gambled their lives away. However, Oswald looked absolutely terrified when Fish walked back to him and for the shortest moment, their eyes locked. He could see the terror in those beautiful blue orbs and was unable to do anything about it. The sole thought pained him and he could feel his stomach churn as he saw how Butch handed his boss an iron rod that had previously leaned against one of the nearby walls. The realization hit him that she would beat Oswald to death right in front of him. She would make him watch. She wanted to make an example out of Oswald. She wanted to teach him a lesson and then she would let them both go, him and Harvey. And Oswald … His corpse would be dumped somewhere and his old mother would never learn the truth.

»Let him go.« He suddenly found himself asking and caused Fish to turn around in surprise at these words. »Please, just let him go. We learned our lesson. I promise you. I won't keep investigating this. The case is closed. I got it. Please. I got it, Fish.« Had there been a flicker of understanding and mercy in her dark eyes for a second, the flame was extinguished right that moment.

»Only my friends get to call me Fish!« She snarled and before Jim knew it or could do anything about it, the iron rod came thundering down on Oswald's right leg. He could hear the bone breaking at the first swing of the rod and Oswald's scream tore through the building, making even Butch flinch and step back a bit.

Later, Jim couldn't say anymore when he started pleading with her again or when he stopped. Later, Jim couldn't even say anymore how long it had taken for Oswald to finally pass out from the pain and the sharp blows administered to him, breaking bone after bone, crushing his right leg into thousand tiny little pieces. Somewhere along the lines, he had grown numb to everything around him. The sounds of the iron rod hitting flesh and breaking bones were only a dull sensation somewhere in the world outside of his head. The world left him only with a beeping sound in his ears that never seemed to leave him alone even after Butch finally freed them from their position years later.

When Jim slumped to the floor next to Harvey, he felt boneless and weak and yet he didn't feel a thing. His eyes remained on Oswald's broken body on the floor. He was still breathing, his chest struggling to move, but that was only a small comfort now. Soon he wouldn't be breathing anymore. Soon those gorgeous blue eyes would never open again. Soon this beautiful voice would have left this world for good. He felt like crying but though his eyes were burning, there were no tears coming.

Beside him, Harvey grunted as he untangled his limbs and when he did, he rose to his feet as if nothing happened while Jim remained on his knees. »We understand each other, Harvey, don't we?« Fish cooed gently. Jim didn't dare to look anywhere but at Oswald. His eyes might betray him would he look at this god-awful woman.

»We do.« Harvey said clearing his voice and to make it more convincing, he added: »No hard feelings about this.«

»Does the same hold true for your rookie partner or do I have to put a bullet in his head?«

He wanted to scream at her. »It does, Fish.« Harvey replied gently as he grabbed Jim by the shoulder, trying to coax him back to his feet. »He learned his lesson.«

»No, he has not.« Fish sighed and Jim finally got back to his feet although it took him a while to get his feet and legs to cooperate as blood was rushing back into his lower extremities, but he held his gaze averted from her burning hot eyes. He could feel her gaze on his face, burning right through his skin like the first time they met. »But he will have learned his lesson by the end of the day.«

»Fish, please.« Harvey begged. »How would it look like if my new rookie partner who was last seen walking into your club suddenly went missing or showed up with a bullet in his head? Falcone would not be pleased!« This only seemed to anger her, but she took a deep breath anyway.

»He won't die today.« She then said and he felt her cold fingers press against the skin of his jaw, felt the scratch of her claws. He could smell the blood that was clinging to her hands. »But he will have killed and he will have learned his lesson.«

As they arrived at the pier, the sun was setting over Gotham and tinted his whole world into a bright, beautiful orange color that was reflected from the windows of the tall skyscrapers and danced on the waves of the Gotham river. He would have enjoyed the scenery would it not be for the sight as Harvey opened the trunk of their car. Oswald was conscious again by now, his face twisted in agony as he blinked against the light outside of his confined space. He wasn't bound or gagged. It wasn't necessary. Jim would put a bullet in the back of his skull and push him into the river. That was what he was meant to do if he wanted to live. Then again, as Harvey pulled Oswald out of the trunk, suddenly Jim wasn't too sure anymore if he really wanted to survive this day. Not if surviving the day would mean for him to kill the man he loved.

Somehow he had expected Oswald to start begging for his life as the time came that Jim led him down the pier. The begging and sobbing never came. Oswald walked in front of him, dragging his destroyed leg after him as he did and was hardly even able to do just that. Even if he would survive that day, they both knew that his leg would be ruined forever. Oswald would never dance again with anyone. By this point, he could hardly even stand upright.

»There is a war coming.« Oswald finally muttered throwing a look over his shoulder. »I can see it, James. Blood in the streets of Gotham. Please, you can't do this.«

»I don't want to do this.« Jim replied quietly. They reached the end of the pier and he could feel Harvey’s eyes drill into him from afar. At least his partner was a decent enough man to give them the privacy they needed for this. They had hardly talked the entire drive to the harbor. Harvey had chosen not to comment on Jim's affiliation to Oswald. The only thing that Jim had told his partner was that he had broken things off with Oswald the moment he found out about his affiliation with the mob. Too late, as it seemed now. He should have never come back to Fish Mooney’s in the first place. He should have left it alone after their first night together. And yet Oswald had pulled him in, again, and again, and again. And now it was too late. They had ruined each other.

Oswald didn't even face him as they stopped at the edge of the pier but rather turned his back to him as if this way it would be any easier for Jim. He could hear his ragged breathing, could see what hard a time he had to keep standing. At this moment he wished nothing more than never having met this man.

»I love you.« He had expected those words from Oswald in his moment of death as Jim cocked his gun and pressed the muzzle to the back of his head. »I still love you.«

He felt his fingers trembling on his gun and he knew that if he would even waste another precious second, he wouldn't be able to do this. And Oswald knew this too. That was why he kept talking. That was why he proclaimed his love to him again and again between muffled sobs. His shoulders were trembling so badly that all Jim wanted to do was to wrap him in his arms. Instead, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to the back of Oswald’s head for just a moment. He took in the smell of his hair, the softness of it as it tickled his nose like it did during all those nights they spent together in peace.

»Never come back to Gotham.« He said then, turning his aim away from Oswald just slightly and shot. He sent the bullet flying past Oswald’s right ear and pushed him into the unforgiving cold waters of the Gotham river.

※※※※※※※

Four months had passed and it felt as if he had lived a whole life in that short a time. Yet, it never seemed to be enough time to forget what had happened at the pier. After that god-awful day, Jim had thrown himself into his work. He and Harvey had never talked about it again, not about Oswald, not about their relationship or what happened that day at the meat processing factory. It was almost as if it had never even happened, almost as if Oswald had never even existed in the first place. Yet, Jim's thoughts were with Oswald’s mother. She didn't know what had happened to her son and was probably sick with worry.

Not a day passed in which Jim would not remind himself that this was not his problem and that no one would benefit from him tearing himself apart over Oswald’s disappearance. And yet, every day he wondered if he should go and visit Oswald's mother to at least tell her that her son would not come back to her.

When he had not busied his mind with work, he had spent it with his new girlfriend, Barbara. Their relationship had exploded far too quickly and now, two months after first meeting her, he found himself in the midst of his very own engagement party, wondering how he ended up in this situation in the first place. He felt as if he was drowning in the laughter all around him. He knew not even half of the people attending this party.

Barbara looked stunning in her tight white dress and her flowing blonde mane. She was the life of the party as always, a perfect picture of elegance and class as she maneuvered herself through the groups of people chatting with each other. Jim, however, felt lost. He felt like he was almost drowning and as if there would never be a way out of this again for him. He loved Barbara, at least he thought he did. Maybe his love for her was different from his love to Oswald, but then again, Barbara was not Oswald, after all.

He had fallen for her quite quickly, but he had never had a problem to fall in love with a beautiful woman or a gorgeous man. Maybe, he thought as he was maneuvering his way through the crowd and stepped outside into the lobby of the hotel intent of catching a bit of fresh air, he had rushed into this relationship and this engagement. No, he definitely knew that this was the case and the why too was out of the question.

When he had met Barbara, he had been glad for the distraction. Finally, after that long a time, he had been able to think of something else but Oswald. He was probably dead anyway. Of course, his intention had been to save him but he was not naive. Oswald had been badly injured, his leg almost completely crushed, his ribs possibly broken. The chances that he had survived and escaped were slim to none. He had run around for weeks with his mind occupied only with thoughts of Oswald and then he had stumbled into Barbara and she had made everything so much easier, so much more fun. Asking her to marry him had seemed the logical thing to do, the proper thing to do. It had seemed like an escape, like a lifejacket and he had gladly taken it.

As he stepped outside the hotel, he took a deep breath of the fresh spring breeze rustling the leaves of the trees that were lining the main street. In this part of town, Gotham almost seemed peaceful but Jim knew that this was just a fallacy. Gotham never was peaceful, no matter where he would turn, no matter where he would look. This city was just as rotten to the core as most of the people living in it. There just was no way around it. Yet he loved spring. He had always loved spring for its promises of hope and new beginnings. Maybe, he thought, he would finally be able to move on from everything that had happened now.

For a moment, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the breeze drifting over his face, allowing a small smile to pull on the corners of his mouth. Maybe, if he would decide to be happy, if he would allow himself to be happy, he could actually enjoy this new life with Barbara. What more could a man want anyway? She was smart and gorgeous. She had money and her own business. She adored him.

When he opened his eyes again and glanced down the street, his eyes caught on a figure at the corner close to the hotel. First, he didn't think much of it, but then his eyes met a pair of piercing blue orbs in a pale white skin underneath a mop of black hair. The figure was standing slightly hunched over, putting their weight on a battered old umbrella that they were clutching in their right hand.

»Oswald?« He breathed, but as he blinked and walked a few steps down from the hotel entrance to the sidewalk, the figure started to move. He wanted to run after the person and blamed his curiosity, blamed his police instincts. However, as he reached the sidewalk, the door of the hotel swung open again.

»Jim!« As he turned his head to look at the doors, he saw Barbara in her beautiful tight white dress, smiling down at him. She was nothing like Oswald. She was perfect in every sense of the word and every guy he met told him just how lucky he was for having found such a girl. Still, Jim found himself glancing down the street again. »Jim, come on! The party is just getting started, Honey!« As he walked back up to her, he decided to smile and gently grab her hand to press a kiss to her knuckles. Yet, before he followed her back inside, his eyes were drawn back to the corner of the street yet again as if he was pulled towards it by some magnetic force.

 

**-End of Chapter 4-**


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